ASIAN ONLINE DATING TIPS

Take Off Your Mask

We all know it's possible to remain anonymous on the Internet, and Asian online dating sites aren't exempt from people wearing masks. You might be tempted to cloak your own "true self" behind a mask when connecting with someone online.

Here's something to consider: How would you feel if the person you'd been relating to for months online turned out to be someone completely different? What if those values and interests you thought you shared weren't real?

Keep that feeling in mind when revealing yourself to someone you find attractive on an Asian online dating site. That doesn't mean pouring out your deepest secrets in the first email! Common sense dictates protecting your privacy until you know someone better. But don't create a mask to hide behind if you hope to find genuine love online.

Go Below the Surface

Once you've established you can trust the other person, it's time to really get to know each other. Because people using Asian dating sites to find a mate often don't meet in person until long after the first connection, you won't have the advantage of face-to-face interaction.

If, however, you spend your time online, on the phone and in letters going below the surface, it is possible to get to know the other person intimately. As trust develops, reveal more of yourself and ask questions designed to learn more about the other person. A smart way to do this is by asking open-ended questions, rather than asking if they share your interests and values.

For example, if you want to know whether children are in their future plans, you could say, "Tell me how you feel about having children someday" rather than saying, "I want two children, don't you?"

The first question allows you to hear their feelings about family and parenthood. The second might result in a one word "Yes" or "No" that doesn't reveal much about their inner values.

Give Love Time to Grow

As you move along the road of online dating and get to know the other person better, you might be tempted to move to the next stage, for example, meeting in person, too soon. As with traditional face-to-face dating, it takes time to truly see the person behind that attractive photo.

"Love at first sight" has a nice ring to it, but it could just as easily be a raging hormonal reaction! Protect yourself from heartache by allowing the relationship to develop in stages. Reveal a little more each time you speak and encourage the other person to do the same. Listen as much as you speak and try not to read your own agenda into your potential mate's responses.

Here's why this step is so important: American singles hoping to find love on an Asian dating site face obstacles undreamed of by couples living in the same country. In order to be together, they'll jump through bureaucratic hoops such as applying for a fiance (K1) visa and finding an immigration lawyer to help them meet the legal requirements for marriage.

Love found in haste often won't stand the test of immigration statutes. It takes shared commitment to go through the legal steps necessary to bring an Asian spouse or fiance to the States. A superficial attraction won't last long in the face of those obstacles.

Commit yourself, then, to being genuine when looking for love online. Go below the surface and really get to know the person behind the profile photo. Allow your new love the time to grow and mature before you consider a face-to-face connection. But don't give up! It's possible, with common sense and commitment, to find someone online to share your life. The secret is in looking for love that will go the distance rather than something that will fade away when obstacles appear in your path.